Helicopter Moms- We Understand!

By: Angela Koomen

We’ve all heard about helicopter moms. Moms who devote their entire life to their children. They will bend over backwards to make sure their children aren’t disappointed or feel bad. They are the cause of the “everyone gets a trophy” and for teachers not being able to use red ink because it makes Billy feel bad. But I, thanks to a late night with my teething 1 year old, have seen the other side of helicopter moms.
Thanks to an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians. In it Kourtney talks to someone about her lack of emotions. It comes out that she doesn’t have time for herself to “feel” her emotions. She’s too busy spending time with her children. I have noticed this before with hovering moms but last night, in my sleep deprived haze, I finally came to realize… helicopter moms are modern day martyrs.

You’ve seen her before, the mom with her kids in matching outfits. The bows bigger than their daughters head. They look like a Baby Gap ad. The mom looks like she couldn’t be happier with her perfect children and her husband that looks like he’d rather be anywhere but where he is. She talks nicely to their kids. Even if little Jeffrey is having a Phase 3 meltdown. “Jeffrey do we need a time out?” Then Jeffrey goes supersonic. She looks around embarrassed and gives little Jeffrey whatever it was that made him cry in the first place. For the sake of their perfect image they give in.

In an effort to give their children the “perfect” childhood these moms have cultivated their family to not function without them. Their kids can’t sleep if mom doesn’t lie down with them or the kids sleep with their parents. Mom can’t leave the house without a meltdown of epic proportions. If the kid wants something they get it or the entire house will pay.

I am not knocking these moms. I have the utmost respect for them. To be able to carry that persona is magnificent. I truly believe these moms are trying to obtain a perfect childhood for their kids. That is an admirable thing. But that is what brought me to the flip-side of this phenomenon. These mothers are hostages in their own homes. They don’t get time away from their kids. Their children rule their lives. Every plan and situation is centered on the kid’s wants and desires. This gives the mothers no time for themselves or their husbands. They have focused all of their time and energy to their kids, which leaves them resentful, isolated, and exhausted. The dads in this situation have learned to either go along with it or they are helicopter dads. They have learned to constantly take a back seat to their children. I think they figure they will get their wives back eventually. So the moms are in a catch 22, they want their children to have this perfect childhood, but they also want time to themselves. They are in a hell of their own making.

I don’t know if there is any way to save these poor mothers. I am not an expert in any sense. But maybe drawing attention to the plight of the helicopter mom, will help us all to understand and support them a little more. So when you see that mom out there just remember, like all of us, she’s doing the best she can!