Mean Girls..

I had a discussion today with some co-workers about how I believe you have a certain point in life you peak. What I mean by this is, I believe you find yourself, your niche at a certain point in your life. This self will evolve over time. You will change and grow, but I feel you have an ah-ha moment in life.

Where you are the happiest. Some people have an awesome Jr. High life, some rock out High School. I personally feel my best self was once I graduated High School. I was not a popular person, nor was I assigned to a group- period. I was a floater. I tried to be nice to everyone, and I feel that I stayed out of the way of others. Once I went to college, I found myself. I loved college. It was by far the most fun. New friends, old friends, new experiences, and new troubles. Does this happen to coincide with the fact I was no longer living with my parents? Sure. I am sure that was the biggest factor. I had to please them. It was important to me. Who am I fooling? I still do. 

With that said, I have learned being a mother that there are still those "groups" so awesomely assigned once you hit puberty. Growing up in the South, those groups tend to follow some people into adulthood. I do not think it is a Southern thing. I have to call out Reality TV to back up this opinion. Maybe I should say, from what I have seen from my own personal experience, these cliques still exist into adulthood. I did not build my house in the school district my husband, nor myself grew up in. Since I ventured out of my hometown border, once I had children to hit school age, I had to meet a new group of women. New mother to mother interactions. This is scary. Should it be? We are grown-ups. Right? 

Being an outsider is interesting. You want to go about it with an attitude of, who cares and her loss. You can't. You have to accept the fact that your behavior effects your children. It is hard to penetrate the group of mothers who have kids that have grown up together and have known each other since birth. These children's parents, at least one of them, grew up in this town. They have blood ties to it. It is in their blood. OK, I am being dramatic. Let's just say it is hard. Once a newbie parent arrives, the stares start. The wonder of who she is starts. Occasionally you will get some sort of acknowledgment due to the fact that I am showing up as I put my kids in programs and they make school teams. I am not going anywhere. I have a strong will. At the end of the day, even through all my efforts, and even though I volunteer, or make some elaborate treat I got from Pinterest, I will never be a part of  the group. No worries. Where there is one "group" there is another. Kindred spirits find each other. I have found my fellow outsider's group, and I think we are doing just fine. It just amazes me that even after, in some cases, 20 years have passed since HS, these groups still exist. The hometowns and the out-of-townees will be what it is. Separate.